I have come to a point of feeling empty. In need of something. 

Listening to worship music.... helping me understand what this life is about. What MY purpose is. : )

JESUS

So what can I say What can I do But offer this heart O God Completely to You  So I’ll stand With arms high and heart abandoned In awe of the One who gave it all

So I’ll stand With arms high and heart abandoned In awe of the One who gave it all
So I’ll stand With arms high and heart abandoned In awe of the One who gave it allSo I’ll stand My soul Lord to You surrendered All I am is Yours

Listening to Kathleen leading worship is so relaxing and amazing. 

LOVELOVELOVE

sickness. snow. and sunshine.

SNOW.

Yaya.

Today it was so b-e-a-u-tiful! 

I love snow.

Sunshine.

Thankfully in this city along with snow and cold weather there is SUNSHINE

It is also great.

Snow and Sunshine makes a great pair.

Oh and lately I have been thinking about the beach. SO this is a nice beach/sun picture!

SICKness.

Unfortunately along with cold weather comes sickness. :(

Thankfully it is not that bad and no big deal. Just annoying.

SO yeah.

Life is all around great. 

Peace.

Well today started off rough.

I wake up to hear that Barack Hussein Obama pretty much has the election in the bag... which we all knew, but I did not want to admit.

I then got up and watch CNN.. about 10 minutes into watching it they announce that Obama is the President Elect.

It was the weirdest feeling. Like a emptiness, helplessness. Different emotions rushed into my body. The feeling rang deep into my soul. Very crazy. (and if you cant tell I have been reading a really good book lately so sorry for the over descriptiveness.)

I then watched McCain's consecion speech. and I cried. 

Thankfully however after listen to Obama's acceptance speech and wrestling with feelings of questioning why... 

This peace just came over me. I now do not look at this situation negatively. I just find my peace and my trust and my hope in the statement "what the Devil intends for evil, God will use for good"

I have a God that is bigger than politics, bigger than all the things that we will face over the next 4 years. 

Though I do not agree with Obama's politics, I believe in a God that can turn a wicked man's actions into something that will impact eternity and change the lives of millions in a good way.

Maybe America needs a wake up call. They need to see what can happen when a man like Obama is elected into office. 

The truth is though. I have no idea. Every reasoning I can come up with will just fall short of the reasons and plan that God has. 

My God is a good God! and I find peace in that.

I will pray. Pray for Obama. Pray for the country that I love. 

and I will thank God that no matter what happens in this life, in my country, my eternity is set and my way is straight : )

Ok enough about politics.

Heres just a few random thoughts:

I have been really lazy with school. Tomorrow I need to kick some butt....However I say that everyday....hmmm.....

I enjoyed tonight. Criss and I walked in the Forest Park. F-U-N. It was completely dark and there were some creepy sounds, but its nights like tonight that I truly cherish.

I will say she was a very good friend today. Knowing that I was pissed about Obama, she came to my rescue! haha <3333

Monday night we went to Indian food. YUM : )

I am really struggling lately with the problem of judgement. I myself judge, like all people, and I have just recently gotten a taste of my own medicine. It is a horrible feeling when someone has preconceived notions  about you that are truly wrong, but you know that nothing you do or say can really change their opinion. I have have really been wrestling between trying to change myself to please others, and just being who I am no matter what. I am a very harsh person and I know I have faults. I have been known to call others out on things so this is one of those times when I am getting to feel what it feels like to be called out. Unfortunately what I am called out on is not really truth. 

My mom told me something very wise. Take what a person says and take it to the Lord. Ask him if there is any truth in it and ask him to reveal the truth to you. 

So that is where I am right now. Stuck in a rut, but I think it might be a good rut. Maybe we get stuck sometimes so that we have to take the time to recognize out failures and figure out what to do to improve and grow.  : )

Here is a funny picture of me beating Tony! 

It made me laugh and if I am ever around you I will explain that hilarious story behind this beating!

LOVELOVELOVE 

Winter is Coming.

Yeah so it snowed yesterday. It was amazing. I loved it. : )

It was pretty cold yesterday, but I kind of enjoyed it. Unfortunately, it won't stay this nice for much longer. As everyone continues to remind me, it is going to get "freakin' ridiculous" in the near future. Of course they do not use those exact words when telling me how cold its gonna get... but you get the point haha.

With winter and snow comes sickness. I woke up this morning and decided that if I cut off my nose I would feel 1000x better. You will be happy to know that I have yet to test that theory. haha

Tony left today, Which it quite sad. He was a good friend and we will miss him. Hopefully he'll come visit sometime. Last night we all hung out. It was pretty fun. Don't really feel like going into detail. 

Yesterday I had a close, face-to-face encounter with a drunk old man. It was 1:30 in the afternoon and he was sloshed! After spotting two cute white girls in the corner of the tiny resturant he proceeded to "force" us to down a glass of beer (chinese culture?), which I could not do because I absolutely hate beer, and he then tried to force feed me the beer that I had failed to consume on my first try. Haha. While trying to make me drink, he then went in for the KISS! 

ahhhhhhhhhhh

He missed my lips by about 1/2 inch Thank God. Though according to Jason and Tony I now have a slew of diseases ranging from herpes to syphilis. : )

So yeah that was my fun story for the day haha. 

oh and then after than some russian guy got a little to close for comfort. However the validity of that story is questioned!

I am still a little confused on why I got so much male attention yesterday. hahaha

I was sexed up thats for sure! Unless weird old men and russians find turtle needs HOT! haha

Guy and Brandon are coming in either tonight or tomorrow. I am excited. They are gonna be here for little less than a week and I am just ready for a little change in pace and scenery. If that makes sense haha. I don't really know what I am saying. I am sick haha and my mind isn't working at full capacity. : )

Ok. I think its time I work on school. "/

xoxo

it was snowing : )

Anticipate: "Lick one's lips over?"

HAHA so that nice title is what I got when I put the word anticipate into my thesaurus. I have never heard the saying "lick one's lips over" but supposedly it means you are anticipating something.... hmm???

Well yeah thought that was a nice way to start this blog. I will warn you this could be a little random and scatter brained because I am quite tired and I am not quite sure why I am writing this. Nothing too exciting has happened....

Oh Well.

SO tonight was fun. A little awkward. I feel.. like I don't measure up or am not good enough because I can't speak chinese. At first I didn't really care, but now I just feel like it is seen in a negative light. Which sucks. But enough NEGATIVITY. Blah.

Dinner was good :) and right now I am listening to Ray Lamontagne, which makes everything better!

I am looking forward to tomorrow.

I am trying to work hard at NOT planning, but sometimes I just can't help it ;)

If tomorrow is as good as I think it could be, then I will tell of the plan that was in my head.

I started the book The Shack last night :)

I finished the book He Chose the Nails. It was fabulous, glorious.

It really revealed the glory of God to me. The love. The Passion.

I will say life is so great right now. There are bad moments, but I am learning to get rid of those bad/sad thoughts just as fast as they come into my head.

I am trying to really praying that God will rig me of all my jealousy. That is my prayer at this moment. Kind of hard to elaborate on, but I just have tendency to not be happy with where I am at this time in my life and it has nothing to do with my physical location, but my emotional and spiritual place. My heart is not right and I just pray that God will just take everything bad out and replace it with an eagerness to serve him with real passion. My heart yearns for passion. I think passion is what so many people lack. I believe passion can change the world. :)

It is starting to get a little chillier here. Today was super amazing! Unfortunately other days are a little cold for me (and I know that if anyone is reading this that knows me and is living in Harbin they are probably laughing and saying "she has no idea what cold is" haha) but it still gets a little cold here. If I have heard correctly the heat should be coming on in like 1 day! WOO HOO ") 

Oh and today Mom and I got winter coats! YAY. Mine makes my look like an obese man, but whateva! When its ------30 I am gonna be fine looking like a man as long as I am warm!

Praise Him! haha

SO yeah. 

God is Good.

Friends are amazing.

Life is wonderful. 

Beautiful. 

(Time for Thesaurus.) 

Lovely. 

Magnificent. 

"Wicked. haha" 

WONDROUS. GLORIOUS.

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