Gone in 60 Seconds.

Christmas is over and that is sad.

However it was So much fun and is a day I will never forget.

I enjoyed spending Christmas differently than other years.

It is good to change it up once in a while :)

My birthday is in 5 days. YAYA

Funtimes :)

LOVELOVELOVE

Sleight Bells Ring are you Listenin' 

In the Lane, Snow is Glistenin' 

I am quite excited for Christmas (which is in 4 days) andddd my BIRTHDAY in 11 daysss.

YIPPIEEEEE

A kinda lot has happened since the last time I blogged.

A) Crissa left for the Americas a week ago.

...B) Nicole, Andrew, and others left for 2 months.

C) Dan the Man came and went.

....D) Our friend Ben officially bought his plane ticket to come and visit.

E) My sister got her vacation time to come and visit.

..F) I have started to become friends with some new awesome people.

G) I went shopping with a friend and we got pretty amazing Christmas Sweaters.

H) I became the reigning champ on UNO.

.....I) I cut MY hair. (and my moms ha ha ha)

and other fun, to insignificant to blog about stuff :)

Life is just good.

I have started to kind of get homesick once in a while, but it comes and goes.

I just rely on Jesus and everything is great!

haha

 

For some reason lately I just haven' t been in the mood to blog...

I really don't know why..........

HMM

But I will try to stay up to date haha.

Anyways. i am just happy and content. Everything except for school is good.

:)

 

Oh and it snowed so it will most likely be a white CHRISTMAS!!

and It is freaking cold. 

The End. 

 lovelovelove

MM.... Today is a good day. 

I haven't done much in school, but I will. haha

I have kinda been dippin' in and out of school work for the past few hours :)

Thankfully it is not that cold today.

A chinese girl told me a few days ago that it would not get warmer, just colder.

But I am pleased to say she was wrong hahaha. I mean if 32ºF is warm to you, then she was wrong.

It is so crazy to look at the weather and be like "wow today is 30º, that is WARM" hahaha

I love it.

Last night I ate some oil drenched fish in a can. Wasn't too bad, just really oily and I still doubt that there was any meat on that fish haha.

Oh and I got a Bible in the mail yesterday, which is exciting!

I haven't had one cause I lost it and never found it before we moved.

This new Bible has a reading plan where you read all the main passages of the Bible in a year.

I got up this morning ready to delve in! So I have officially finished my second day of reading. hehe

It is a great feeling when you get to the end of the designated reading, and you want more. You have this urge to keep going. I love it!

Though I have stopped myself from continuing, I am trying to stay on track! :)

Last night I also read another chapter in the Shack. AMAZING. 

It was all about living in expectancy and NOT expectation! 

Living in freedom, knowing that nothing you do can or will add or take away from who God is.

Learning that my relationship with Jesus is not based on rules and expectations, but rather love and that in love I will chose not to do things that would hurt our relationship.

I know that once I accept Jesus into my heart, its a done deal and I can't do anything to undo that relationship. 

I also know that while developing that relationship and growing in it, I will start to understand that there are certain things that I am ABLE to do, but they will not benefit the relationship! 

I am just loving learning about the freedom that I can live in. 

In that freedom I can then love others and love Jesus with all my heart.

I can live a life with no reservations. I live all out holding nothing back :)

Oh the Joys. I love finding new revelations, learning more about the character of God.

Though I still have so much more to learn and everyday is a struggle between what I want and what will benefit my relationship with Jesus, I am slowly growing.

One day it will get to the point where what I want is what will benefit our relationship.

Where every thought and action is directly influenced by the heart of God and my enjoyment in following the His Will.

WOW this post is all over the place. But man does it feel good to try to write down my thoughts.

It is not an easy task. My mind is always wondering!

Daniel comes in one week! WOO HOO :)

LOVELOVELOVE

ME and GOD

SO.

I have so much to say. But I don't know how to put it into words. 

I am so many places I need to grow. 

There is just a part of me that depends so much on what other people think.

This is never good. Because if your feelings depend on other people you will always be disappointed. 

I need to work at this.

I need to put my feelings and trust and love in Jesus.

Then I have a rock and a foundation. 

Oh man. I wish I could just vent BUT I have got to keep it inside. 

One day I will have someone that I can talk to face to face, but for now.

Its just ME and God.

I have come to a point of feeling empty. In need of something. 

Listening to worship music.... helping me understand what this life is about. What MY purpose is. : )

JESUS

So what can I say What can I do But offer this heart O God Completely to You  So I’ll stand With arms high and heart abandoned In awe of the One who gave it all

So I’ll stand With arms high and heart abandoned In awe of the One who gave it all
So I’ll stand With arms high and heart abandoned In awe of the One who gave it allSo I’ll stand My soul Lord to You surrendered All I am is Yours

Listening to Kathleen leading worship is so relaxing and amazing. 

LOVELOVELOVE

sickness. snow. and sunshine.

SNOW.

Yaya.

Today it was so b-e-a-u-tiful! 

I love snow.

Sunshine.

Thankfully in this city along with snow and cold weather there is SUNSHINE

It is also great.

Snow and Sunshine makes a great pair.

Oh and lately I have been thinking about the beach. SO this is a nice beach/sun picture!

SICKness.

Unfortunately along with cold weather comes sickness. :(

Thankfully it is not that bad and no big deal. Just annoying.

SO yeah.

Life is all around great. 

Peace.

Well today started off rough.

I wake up to hear that Barack Hussein Obama pretty much has the election in the bag... which we all knew, but I did not want to admit.

I then got up and watch CNN.. about 10 minutes into watching it they announce that Obama is the President Elect.

It was the weirdest feeling. Like a emptiness, helplessness. Different emotions rushed into my body. The feeling rang deep into my soul. Very crazy. (and if you cant tell I have been reading a really good book lately so sorry for the over descriptiveness.)

I then watched McCain's consecion speech. and I cried. 

Thankfully however after listen to Obama's acceptance speech and wrestling with feelings of questioning why... 

This peace just came over me. I now do not look at this situation negatively. I just find my peace and my trust and my hope in the statement "what the Devil intends for evil, God will use for good"

I have a God that is bigger than politics, bigger than all the things that we will face over the next 4 years. 

Though I do not agree with Obama's politics, I believe in a God that can turn a wicked man's actions into something that will impact eternity and change the lives of millions in a good way.

Maybe America needs a wake up call. They need to see what can happen when a man like Obama is elected into office. 

The truth is though. I have no idea. Every reasoning I can come up with will just fall short of the reasons and plan that God has. 

My God is a good God! and I find peace in that.

I will pray. Pray for Obama. Pray for the country that I love. 

and I will thank God that no matter what happens in this life, in my country, my eternity is set and my way is straight : )

Ok enough about politics.

Heres just a few random thoughts:

I have been really lazy with school. Tomorrow I need to kick some butt....However I say that everyday....hmmm.....

I enjoyed tonight. Criss and I walked in the Forest Park. F-U-N. It was completely dark and there were some creepy sounds, but its nights like tonight that I truly cherish.

I will say she was a very good friend today. Knowing that I was pissed about Obama, she came to my rescue! haha <3333

Monday night we went to Indian food. YUM : )

I am really struggling lately with the problem of judgement. I myself judge, like all people, and I have just recently gotten a taste of my own medicine. It is a horrible feeling when someone has preconceived notions  about you that are truly wrong, but you know that nothing you do or say can really change their opinion. I have have really been wrestling between trying to change myself to please others, and just being who I am no matter what. I am a very harsh person and I know I have faults. I have been known to call others out on things so this is one of those times when I am getting to feel what it feels like to be called out. Unfortunately what I am called out on is not really truth. 

My mom told me something very wise. Take what a person says and take it to the Lord. Ask him if there is any truth in it and ask him to reveal the truth to you. 

So that is where I am right now. Stuck in a rut, but I think it might be a good rut. Maybe we get stuck sometimes so that we have to take the time to recognize out failures and figure out what to do to improve and grow.  : )

Here is a funny picture of me beating Tony! 

It made me laugh and if I am ever around you I will explain that hilarious story behind this beating!

LOVELOVELOVE 

Winter is Coming.

Yeah so it snowed yesterday. It was amazing. I loved it. : )

It was pretty cold yesterday, but I kind of enjoyed it. Unfortunately, it won't stay this nice for much longer. As everyone continues to remind me, it is going to get "freakin' ridiculous" in the near future. Of course they do not use those exact words when telling me how cold its gonna get... but you get the point haha.

With winter and snow comes sickness. I woke up this morning and decided that if I cut off my nose I would feel 1000x better. You will be happy to know that I have yet to test that theory. haha

Tony left today, Which it quite sad. He was a good friend and we will miss him. Hopefully he'll come visit sometime. Last night we all hung out. It was pretty fun. Don't really feel like going into detail. 

Yesterday I had a close, face-to-face encounter with a drunk old man. It was 1:30 in the afternoon and he was sloshed! After spotting two cute white girls in the corner of the tiny resturant he proceeded to "force" us to down a glass of beer (chinese culture?), which I could not do because I absolutely hate beer, and he then tried to force feed me the beer that I had failed to consume on my first try. Haha. While trying to make me drink, he then went in for the KISS! 

ahhhhhhhhhhh

He missed my lips by about 1/2 inch Thank God. Though according to Jason and Tony I now have a slew of diseases ranging from herpes to syphilis. : )

So yeah that was my fun story for the day haha. 

oh and then after than some russian guy got a little to close for comfort. However the validity of that story is questioned!

I am still a little confused on why I got so much male attention yesterday. hahaha

I was sexed up thats for sure! Unless weird old men and russians find turtle needs HOT! haha

Guy and Brandon are coming in either tonight or tomorrow. I am excited. They are gonna be here for little less than a week and I am just ready for a little change in pace and scenery. If that makes sense haha. I don't really know what I am saying. I am sick haha and my mind isn't working at full capacity. : )

Ok. I think its time I work on school. "/

xoxo

it was snowing : )

Anticipate: "Lick one's lips over?"

HAHA so that nice title is what I got when I put the word anticipate into my thesaurus. I have never heard the saying "lick one's lips over" but supposedly it means you are anticipating something.... hmm???

Well yeah thought that was a nice way to start this blog. I will warn you this could be a little random and scatter brained because I am quite tired and I am not quite sure why I am writing this. Nothing too exciting has happened....

Oh Well.

SO tonight was fun. A little awkward. I feel.. like I don't measure up or am not good enough because I can't speak chinese. At first I didn't really care, but now I just feel like it is seen in a negative light. Which sucks. But enough NEGATIVITY. Blah.

Dinner was good :) and right now I am listening to Ray Lamontagne, which makes everything better!

I am looking forward to tomorrow.

I am trying to work hard at NOT planning, but sometimes I just can't help it ;)

If tomorrow is as good as I think it could be, then I will tell of the plan that was in my head.

I started the book The Shack last night :)

I finished the book He Chose the Nails. It was fabulous, glorious.

It really revealed the glory of God to me. The love. The Passion.

I will say life is so great right now. There are bad moments, but I am learning to get rid of those bad/sad thoughts just as fast as they come into my head.

I am trying to really praying that God will rig me of all my jealousy. That is my prayer at this moment. Kind of hard to elaborate on, but I just have tendency to not be happy with where I am at this time in my life and it has nothing to do with my physical location, but my emotional and spiritual place. My heart is not right and I just pray that God will just take everything bad out and replace it with an eagerness to serve him with real passion. My heart yearns for passion. I think passion is what so many people lack. I believe passion can change the world. :)

It is starting to get a little chillier here. Today was super amazing! Unfortunately other days are a little cold for me (and I know that if anyone is reading this that knows me and is living in Harbin they are probably laughing and saying "she has no idea what cold is" haha) but it still gets a little cold here. If I have heard correctly the heat should be coming on in like 1 day! WOO HOO ") 

Oh and today Mom and I got winter coats! YAY. Mine makes my look like an obese man, but whateva! When its ------30 I am gonna be fine looking like a man as long as I am warm!

Praise Him! haha

SO yeah. 

God is Good.

Friends are amazing.

Life is wonderful. 

Beautiful. 

(Time for Thesaurus.) 

Lovely. 

Magnificent. 

"Wicked. haha" 

WONDROUS. GLORIOUS.

την ομορφιά της ζωής και διερωτώμαι ποια είναι Ζω για

JOLLIFICATION!

In case you are wondering the word jollification is a word I just learned when I put "fun" in the thesaurus :)

I was looking for others words to describe how my night was.

Fun is so.... blah.

Fun is so bland. Plain. Shallow.

As I right more and more essays for school, the thesaurus is becoming my new best friend!

SO yeah tonight was just great.

I hope no one that was there reads this cause I might sound like a creeper..

haha

But it was just really great.

I have really just been looking for friends that I can text randomly and be like "dinner?"

and they are totally up for it. 

ILOVESPONTANEITY.

I haven't quite found that group of people, but I hope I do soon.

I love the friends we went out with tonight. They are really great.

However I don't think the level of friendship is to that point yet.

I think texting them would be awkward.

Let alone texting randomly, without planning, and do things that are totally crazy and fun.... that would be a LITTLE awkward.

They probably would not respond to that text haha.

I am so ready to be over the awkward stages. Best friends are great.

Girls and Guys as best friends. That is really really (searching my thesaurus for a word other than great..) 

hunky-dory?

splendiferous?

killer..swell?

Well you get the point. hahah

Anyways. 

God is Good.

All the Time.

All the Time.

God is [oh so] Good.

Speaking of synonyms... I think Christianity needs some new words to express feelings.

For like hundreds of years we have all used the same boring adjectives to express how we feel about God and Love and the World and Life.

Oh and I have also been thinking about just the relationship with Jesus.

I think its time to tear away all the crap!

Get rid of the fake, holier than thou, church going crowd..CRAP.

Its time to get real and raw. 

Its time to be vulnerable.

Time to put you heart out there. 

Time to give it all up.

Its time to learn the love of Jesus for real!

Go in depth.

...................

"When the music fades 

and all is stripped away 

and I simply come.

Longing just to bring 

something thats of worth, 

that will bless your heart."

耶穌是愛。

Quickie

So this is gonna be a short one, but I would just like to document that I have had my first real craving since being in China...

Haha and it was CHICK FIL A! 

Especially the Chicken Minis..

mmmm.... my mouth just waters thinking about them!

It is kinda crazy cause I haven't craved anything in the US for almost 4 months. 

Hmmm.... WEIRD :)

Happy DAYS :)

So I haven't written on here for about a week now.... 

In that week a lot has happened. Well at least at a lot for me and especially a lot for living in China.

Life here seems to move slow.. and fast.

Kind of hard to explain. The days move slow sometimes, but the months move fast. Weird haha

But the days keep rolling by. Some are great, some are good. Rarely do I have a bad day. If there are any bad times, it comes in moments. But after each bad moments, a flood of grace and mercy and love rushes in. That might sound crazy and cheesy but its true. As I begin to read more (started a new book He Chose the Nails) and begin to dwell on things of God, I have seen a change. Not that I have become a better person, but that when I fall that is where I see the presence of God. And when I have really awesome moments with friends or just around China, I see God there too. 

I am truly becoming thankful for the relationships I am forming here. They are going beyond just shallow friendship that I can leave in a year and forget about. The people I am hanging out with really truly enjoy. When I am around I feel as though the things that really matter in life are the topics of discussion. If that makes any sense. They are people I can be myself around. They are amazing human beings and each time I spend more time with them I learn something. I learn something about the character of God, the love of God. It can either be in something they say, or it can just be the realization that I am so blessed. That I have a relationship with Jesus that is becoming so real. That he cared enough for ME, to put in my path people that will glorify him and show me there is nothing to be ashamed of...

I am at a time in my life where each decision I make molds me and shapes me into the person I become. I truly believe that surrounding myself with people that live their life to bring God glory, will strengthen my own relationship...

Oh life. I am only 16, but I am slowly discovering the beauty of life. Each day brings a new revelation. It is so amazing. It is such a privilege. 

Life is beautiful!

NObama :)

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down on your knees.... for the moment you can hardly breathe

SO this day has started out pretty great :) I was woken up by a text from Crissa asking if I wanted to go to breakfast, we met at hamamas and it was delish!

This week has kinda been a big boring blur. Nothing to jump up and down over haha. School has been the main focus (or at least its suppose to be the main focus haha). I have such a small attention span. ha. Doing school on the internet doesn’t really help because my mind WANDERS. I think of something and then I have to google it and then I have to read about it then while reading about it I find something else interesting and I have to read about that and this process just continues on. If I could chose what I want to read about in school I might be a little more interested. But the truth is if I am suppose to read something then I am more than likely not going to. If I am forced to do something I automatically push back against it.

While writing this all I can think about it how writing a blog is different once you know someone actually reads it. It like you feel like all the sudden you have someone to impress or you are more careful about what you write. More thought is put into each word. I hate that. Not the people reading it part, but the knowing that people read. I have the personality that I want to impress or I want people to like me. I base my confidence and self off of others. Which is a really sucky personality trait! Honestly my personality almost contradicts itself. I say was I think and don’t care who I offend, yet there is a part of me that completely cares what others think. Sometimes I will just say that I don’t care when I really do. Some think I am a mean person but the truth is I just put up that wall. Right now I am trying to think of a way to explain that more in depth but I am just blank. SO next subject.

Right now I am listening to John Mayer. He is awesome.

When it comes to the most important relationship... Things are dwindling. There are the mountains and there are the valleys. I feel as though I live most of my life in the valleys. For like a week or so I feel a little better. I feel as though I am putting some effort into it. But times like the one I am in now I just feel lost. Empty. Helpless. You are taught that these are the times when you are really suppose to seek him, but I can I seek when I feel as though I have nothing. Nothing to give. Seeking takes strength. How do you seek when that strength is gone? Maybe that is when the greatness of God comes in. The time when you have nothing. When you are most vulnerable. The truth is you there is nothing you can give that God doesn’t already have haha. Maybe it is when you seek, having no strength. When you seek his face that is where you find strength.

I hope that makes sense. Kind of all over the place. But that is how life is. A big mess. :)

mmm.... freedom is so great.

<3

Because I got HIGH

So I walked into McDonalds today and much to my surprise I was met with the lyrics "Because I got high, because I got high, because I got highhhh" hahahah. That song brings back so many great memories. :) It is hilarious and I must admit hearing it today was a highlight of my stay in China so far. 

Its funny because living here you have to learn to find true joy and happiness in the smallest things. Hearing that song brought a smile to my face and singing along to is was great. Even if multiple people were staring at me with a puzzled look on their face haha :)

Life has been great lately. Kath left yesterday which kinda sucked, but it was cool having her here and getting to show her around the city. We went into St. Sofia's on tuesday. It was pretty cool. Just kinda sucked that it had been completely overrun with pictures and crap, yes I know its like a museum or whatever, but I would have enjoyed it more if it just looked like a normal church inside. Other than that it was cool. I got a pretty ring there haha. The best part was probably the picture of the last supper. It was huge and there was Jesus. Up on the wall, blown up. That was kinda like a screw you to everyone that said Jesus isn't aloud in this country. No matter what country, Jesus is always here. SO great. 

Lately I have started to have this feeling rise up in me, like that I don't need to try to hide my faith just because of the country or the people I am around. There is nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to hide, nothing anyone can do to me that will touch the spirit of God living in me. Oh I free I feel when I write out that kind of thought. To know that I have something so much more important that life or death. To know that I can live with a confidence, I have the creator of the universe on my side. mmm.... so great. 

The weather. Now that is a subject I could right a whole blog on. haha :) It feels pretty good today, but you can definitely tell the weather is shifting. The other morning when we took Kath to the airport it was like 40 or so degrees and I was SO cold. haha. Well truth is I probably have no idea what it really feels like to be cold. Kathleen thought it would be really great to mention the other night, when it was about 60, that it is going to go down 100 degrees. Now that is like shoot me in the face cold. I know that I will NOT be going outside when it is like -30. NO THANK YOU. ") but I will say I am enjoying being able to wear like long sleeves and stuff, however..I refuse to not wear flip flops until it is completely necessary. When there is the possibility of my toes falling off, then I might contemplate wearing real shoes! 

Today we found out that the US Embassy in China got bombed. That was pretty surprising and really sad. I am grateful that no americans died, but it is very sad that 16 others died. I have friends there, so I was also very to find out they were ok. 

Since first starting this blog a couple hours ago, I have now moved locations and am pleased to announce that the coffee bar we having been wanting to go to is great! The internet works perfectly and I can't wait for my carmel frap :) Though I hate coffee, I tasted Crissa's carmel frappuccino the other day and it is quite superb!

Well there is not much more to say right now :)

Life is so great.

I miss everyone in Jax and Love them dearly. 

Have a great day/night!

xoxo

Jesus Messiah by Chris Tomlin

My Dad just introduced me to Chris Tomlin's new song, Jesus Messiah. Usually I don't like him music too much cause its a little generic for me but man this song is pretty awesome. 

Here are the lyrics:

He became sin 
Who knew no sin 
That we might become His Righteousness 
He humbled himself and carried the cross 

Love so amazing 
Love so amazing 

Chorus: 
Jesus Messiah 
Name above all names 
Blessed Redeemer 
Emmanuel 
The rescue for sinners 
The ransom from Heaven 
Jesus Messiah 
Lord of all 

His body the bread 
His blood the wine 
Broken and poured out all for love 
The whole earth trembled 
And the veil was torn 

Love so amazing
Love so amazing, yeah

Chorus: 
Jesus Messiah 
Name above all names 
Blessed Redeemer 
Emmanuel 
The rescue for sinners 
The ransom from Heaven 
Jesus Messiah 
Lord of all 

All our hope is in You 
All our hope is in You 
All the glory to You, God 
The light of the world 

Chorus: 
Jesus Messiah 
Name above all names 
Blessed Redeemer 
Emmanuel 
The rescue for sinners 
The ransom from Heaven 
Jesus Messiah 
Lord of all

AWESOME :)

Hebrews 11. Those of whom the world is not Worthy.

I was just reading through some of Hebrews and Romans trying to find my favorite verses of the Bible. I found it. and now I would like to share it with you. Not only my favorite, but some others that are really good too!

The Best:

-Hebrews 11:32-39 "³² How much more do I need to say? It would take too long to recount the stories of the faith of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel, and all the prophets. ³³ By faith these people overthrew kingdoms, ruled with justice, and received what God had promised them. They shut the mouths of lions, ³⁴ quenched the flames of fire, and escaped death by the edge of the sword. Their weakness was turned to strength. They became strong in battle and put whole armies to flight. ³⁵ Women received their loved ones back again from death. But others were tortured, refusing to turn from God in order to be set free. They placed their hope in a better life after the resurrection. ³⁶ Some were jeered at, and their backs were cut open with whips. Others were chained in prisons. ³⁷ Some died by stoning, some were sawed in half,^[d] and others were killed with the sword. Some went about wearing skins of sheep and goats, destitute and oppressed and mistreated. ³⁸ They were too good for this world, wandering over deserts and mountains, hiding in caves and holes in the ground. ³⁹ All these people earned a good reputation because of their faith, yet none of them received all that God had promised. ⁴⁰ For God had something better in mind for us, so that they would not reach perfection without us."

-Romans 12:9-12 "⁹ Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. ¹⁰ Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. ¹¹ Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. ¹²Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying."

-Romans 12:2 "² Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."

-Romans 12:3-5 "I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us. ⁴ Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, ⁵ so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other."

-Romans 11:33-36 "³³ Oh, how great are God’s riches and wisdom and knowledge! How impossible it is for us to understand his decisions and his ways!

   ³⁴ For who can know the Lord’s thoughts?
      Who knows enough to give him advice?^[l]
   35 And who has given him so much
      that he needs to pay it back?^[m]

   ³⁶ For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! Amen."

Thats all for now. More later.... very soon : )

Kath is HERE :)

So I know this is like 3 days late, but oh well. My sister is here! It is pretty exciting. When I saw her face in the airport it was so weird. It seemed as though we had never been apart. We are back to normal, just like we were in Jax. Arguing about everything. It is great : )

Anyways so today we are gonna go down to Central Street. I am going to try to say it in chinese. COULD BE I N T E R E S T I N G. haha to say the least. but I guess we'll see. We are gonna go shopping yay!

SOOOO yeah school has been going slow. Man my determination is dwindling. For some reason I have really taken a liking to the word dwindle. Kinda a cool word. Anywaysss school is just gay. but I have to get through it. 

I am just babbling right now. but I don't care, I enjoy writing down my thoughts. 

Last night was fun. I went to dinner with friends from the university. It did kinda suck cause they are not allowed to speak English, but whateva. I insisted on them keeping to their contract, though I would have liked if they would have spoken Some English. However there was one point in the evening that I did not quite enjoy. I will only say one thing. I do not enjoy being treated like a child. 

So yeah I think I am gonna go catch a quick shower then we are off to shop for the day!

Oh and then tonight we are going to this random hotel with my parents and the school they work for because today is teachers day. could be interesting, hahah :)

but I think we could be bowling tonight! fun fun

xoxoxoxoxo :)

Disappointment

It really sucks when you get your hopes up about something, but then those hopes are completely crushed. I hate writing blogs that can seem negative or depressing but right now I am home alone and the only person that is willing to listen is this blog. HAHA :)

Today I woke up to being told that if I didn't submit assignments I would be withdrawn from precalc. Now isn't that something exciting to hear the second you wake up. Thank God though my day hasn't continued down a bad path. In fact this day has been quite good. Other than the fact that I have been in front of my computer for the past 8 hours straight. not exaggerating! I ask God for some determination and today I actually think he gave me some. Yes I was forced to work today, so its not like I chose to work for 8 hours on precalculus, but still. I feel somewhat accomplished today. 

Now from reading this paragraph you must be wondering why this blog and such a dreary name and opening paragraph. Well you see, I am starving. I have only eaten 1 grilled cheese sandwich today. Whenever you are hungry you are prone you be in a worse mood. But its really not even about my mood, it just that I truly look forward to hanging out with people and when the events that I look forward to vanish, it sucks. Though writing this blog so far has helped lighten my mood. I have been alone for close to 7 hours and I just wanna do something.

OK I am done. Short and not toooo sweet :)

xoxo

The Days are Rolling By .

Man I wish I had more friends. People always say that Jesus is the only friend that you need and he is always there, but what about those times when you just don't feel him. When you have that feeling of complete loneliness. Yes you can pray and read your Bible but that definitely doesn't always help. There has to be more. I have to find more. I know there is more to this relationship and I am desperate to find it. Find the missing piece.

Today was quite uneventful. We bought a scale and I now know I have lost about 6 pounds. Though losing weight is one of the least of my worries, it is nice to know that I am 6 pounds lighter.

Oh exciting news! I ordered 2 bottles of water today at a restaurant.. IN CHINESE! hahahah I know it is lame, but with every little accomplishment there is a little celebration. Life without celebration is so boring and dull! Laughter and celebration. I love it! 

I really am excited about Sunday. Kath gets here! and Abi and Jason get back. Though the group of friends I have made here aren't the closest friends in the world I still love hanging out with them. I have missed going out to dinner. Now that Crissa is in school, she can't speak english. So I am quite bored. 

But other than that. Life is so great. I am living and breathing. :) Can't ask for much more than that!

Hebrews 3:12-14:"Be careful then, dear brothers and sisters. Make sure that your own hearts are not evil and unbelieveing, turning you away from the living God. You must warn each other every day, while it is still "today," so that none of you will be deceived by sin and hardened against God. For if we are faithful to the end, trusting God just as firmly as when we first believed, we will share in all that belongs to Christ."

荣耀是上帝- I love Google Translator ; )

A Beautiful Life, A Beautiful Day

Today is such a great day in Harbin :)

Its almost 4 o'clock in the afternoon and I am still in my pajamas haha!

I haven't done much today, other than hang with my mom cause its her day off, and anticipate seeing kath in less than a week! A few days ago I made a chocolate cake and man is it good! haha.

When living over here you have to learn to find true happiness and enjoyment in the little things. Little things that make up each day. Not every day, not every week, not even every month with something truly grand happen so if you base you happiness off of the extraordinary then you will be very disappointed. I have also found that basing your happiness off of material things will also just end in disappointment. You have to learn that true happiness comes from within and being happy is something you choose. I truly believe that. I believe that in many situations you can choose how you feel. You can choose to be happy and have a positive attitude or you can choose to be negative. That was my perspective about moving to China. People would always ask me how I felt about it and I just told them that I was choosing to be happy. Yes there are things that you find happiness in that you don't necessarily choose, but you also have a choice when it comes to happiness. 

When talking about happiness you have to talk about the greatness of God. Well you of course have to know him first but only when you know God and when you have a relationship with Jesus will you truly know what happiness is. What true happiness is. People will live their life, trying to fill the void in their heart with stuff. Stuff that will never suffice. If only they could learn and understand the love of God. A love that brings true happiness.

Today we listened to the Barbarian Way by Erwin McManus. Man I love that sermon. I so much want to grasp the concept that being at the center of God's Will will not be easy. There will be times when you question and when you feel like you don't get an answer, but you have to know that God is on your side. Obeying God's Will doesn't mean there won't be hardships, it doesn't mean that your life is going to be a breeze, but it does mean that when you are at your loneliest point, when you are laying in your bed in Harbin China, feeling as though you have no one, no one to talk to, no one to listen, even there God is with you. If you just listen you will hear God's voice. I try to tell people that don't know Jesus about how he talks and if you listen you will hear. But so much in my own life I question. Rarely do I actually feel like I hear the voice of God. But I will tell you something... When I do hear, when I know in my heart that the voice I just heard was the voice of the creator of the universe, man that is amazing. I will admit that I do not always follow that voice, but again when I do, it is the most fulfilling feeling in the world. And its not always the voice of God but it is sometimes when you get to have a front row seat and watch the work of God, that is when you know. You know that you have a purpose. You are living your life for a reason. Everything you do will have impact. Too many people live a pointless life. Always wondering. Never knowing their God-given purpose. I do not want to live that way. I want to know that every time I step out the door or open my mouth I am glorifying God and moving one step closer to fulfilling his will in my life. :)

La Vita Bella 

Hmm.. First Post. :)

So I just decided to start this. I am kinda excited. Though I know a lot of people won't read this it is ok. Sometimes its just nice to have a place to write down my thoughts. :)

Today was quite boring. School is going slow because I have just no will to do it haha. 

I woke up really determined, but that determination soon diminished. 

It was so great to go to dinner with Crissa. I love having deep conversations. We got to talk about our beliefs and views on different ideas. It was just really awesome. 

Especially because I have been thinking about what I believe and everything lately.

I have made some really great friends here and the other night when we went to dinner they started talking about topics that I have little knowledge about. I love being around people that stretch my thinking. When people are talking about things that I don't know much about it makes me want to research and decide what I think about it. Anyways. I just really hate when people look down on me for my age so I like actually knowing what I am talking about. haha.

Yeah so this week is going to kinda be boring. Jason and Abi are gone. They are pretty awesome people. Since they are gone we are probably not going to go to dinner a lot this week. :( I reallyyy love going to dinner with everyone. They just increase my love for China. 

And YES it is love. :)

Don't have much more to say. haha.

GOD IS GOOD. ALL THE TIME. ALL THE TIME. GOD IS GOOD.